


Nightime Terror

by Marvelgirl1701



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6519199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvelgirl1701/pseuds/Marvelgirl1701
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Papillon's new attempt at defeating the dynamic duo, Ladybug and Chat Noir must face both akumas during the day and nightmares during the night. The two must find solace together before their partnership breaks apart forever. Slow Burn fic with eventual romance and some violence in the nightmares. Enjoy :)</p>
<p>(Currently in hiatus because of school)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Nightmare's Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Papillon grows tired of his constant defeat and goes to other methods to finally gain their Miraculouses.

Letting out an anguished, angry cry, Papillon crumbles to the floor, facing the aftermath of yet another defeat. Watching from his tower through the last bits of his control from his white butterfly, he sees the dynamic duo perform their signature fist pump, his own fist pummeling the floor. He cries out, swearing vengeance, though he knows his words would only fall upon his own ears. 

The Joker had been one of the better creations of his evil akumas, his power to bring people everlasting laughter by a single wave of his hand where his watch resided. The villain was having much fun wrecking havok on Paris, before Ladybug and Chat Noir appeared. They had beaten his akuma with ease, probably not even breaking a sweat before purifying the dark butterfly to white. 

Papillon growls to himself, eyes boring out through his window at the setting sun, imagining the two teens going about their daily lives after his attack like nothing had happened, as if it were normal. Like his akumas no longer even affected them and it makes his fury burn greater.

Frankly, Papillon was tired of losing. It’s been three excruciatingly long years since his first akuma attack and his carefully crafted villains became stronger and stronger by each day. Unfortunately, so did Ladybug and Chat Noir, who always seemed one step ahead his akumas. 

No longer did they stumble or work simply on their own. Over the years, they learned to always work as a team and their moves melded together, as if they were one collective mind. They didn’t even need words to communicate anymore (as shown by last week’s akuma, Breath Taker. Even by taking their voices could they work together flawlessly). And the children themselves grew into mature young adults with even stronger punches and greater intelligence. It really urked Papillon, honestly, how easily now his akumas fell to them.

Clutching his cane, he begins to question his motives. After three unfruitful years, is it really worth it to continue to try if he knows he will lose…? Good always prevails, always conquers evil, but… But, who’s says  _ he _ isn’t the good guy? He thinks to himself, his resolve hardening once more as he brings himself to his feet. Shaking his head and getting rid of his self-doubt, Papillon lets out a sigh. 

Then, what  _ will  _ beat Ladybug and Chat Noir? Obviously, what he is doing now is no good. If it hasn’t worked for three years, how would it work in another three?

A small voice sneaks in from the dark crevices of his mind, bringing light to a new, darker idea. Perhaps instead of worrying about the miraculous and defeating them, he should try and break the person under the mask. Get into their minds and see what makes them tick, then pound the gears apart till there is nothing left. A malicious grin spreads across Papillons face. 

“Yes, yes… If I break the person, I can easily take their Miraculouses!”

And, instead of hitting them head on, make his attacks gradual, ever so subtle, so Ladybug and Chat Noir won’t even see it coming. He wants to seep into their very own thoughts and subconscious, to plant a seed of disharmony and discord. Maybe break away their partnership or have them question their own abilities, or even better, their own sanities.

Chuckling to himself, he glances at glass window, his only outlook on the outside world. The world outside has become steadily darker, stars littering the sky and a full moon overhead. Time is nothing more than a notion in Papillon’s mind and its pace is of no interest to him, so he often finds himself sulking in his lair for hours without noticing. He quickly locates and feeds off the negative energy of a young, fearful child, plagued by his own nightmares.  _ Perfect _ , Papillon thinks to himself, sending a dark akuma on its way to reach the boy, an ideal vessel for his evil schemes.  _ Let the nightmare begin. _

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A little child lets out a loud wail, keeping his tear-filled eyes wide open, for every time he dares to close them, visions of darkness and what lies in it paint across his eyelids. Fear overwhelms his very being and he shudders, pulling the covers closer around himself, as if to use his blanket cocoon as a sort of force field from evil beings. Unfortunately, it remains ineffective, as a dark butterfly easily punctures his shield of blankets to only be absorbed by his teddy bear he holds close to him. A magenta butterfly-shaped mask illuminates over his eyes and his features that had once been etched in fear, relax into a devious competency. 

“Night Terror, I am Papillon. I grant you the powers to not only take fear away from your own life, but to give it to whomever you like in the form of nightmares. Would you like that?” Papillon rumbles in the child’s mind.

The child smiles widely.

“Oh, yes! Soon, all of Paris will face their greatest nightmares!”

A dark smoke bubbles over the child, engulfing his small form. Once the smoke clears, any remnants of the child completely disappears, the only thing left behind the newly crafted villain, Night Terror. He stands in the shadows, his body blending in with the darkness of the night. His piercing white eyes starkly contrast his dark surroundings and he widely smiles, revealing sharp fangs. The only reminder of the child he once was is the stuffed bear that lies stiff around Night Terror’s neck with a dark chain. Leathery wings protrude from his back, readying for fight to bring chaos to Paris when the butterfly mask appears on his face once more and Night Terror is greeted by the harsh voice of Papillon.

“Now, now, Night Terror, as I have given you much, so you are indebted to me. Come to my lair so we may discuss our terms, then you may do whatever you please to Paris.”

“Of course, Papillon,” Night Terror replies and he disappears in a puff of black smoke, speeding away to the location Papillon shows in his mind.

He creeps over Paris, unseen and undetected by Paris’ heroes that remain asleep in their beds. Upon reaching Papillon’s lair, the creature materializes and smirks, taking in the multitude of white, glowing butterflies and their master remaining hidden in the shadows.

“Night Terror, at your service,” the villain says with an over exaggerated bow. “What might I do to repay your generous gift?”

Unbeknownst to Night Terror, Papillon motions to his butterflies, making them flutter around in a frenzy around the new villain. Night Terror lets out a growl in surprise, batting at the bugs, but they merely continue to fly around him, blinding him.

“You can repay me,” Papillon says with a dark chuckle, the butterflies beginning to latch onto the new villain, pulling him down. “By plaguing Ladybug and Chat Noir with the worst nightmares you can conjure up!”

The butterflies pushing the akumatized villain to the fall, he makes a loud yell in protest, trying to disappear in a puff of smoke, but the akumas preventing him from doing so. 

“What are you doing?” Night Terror yells, struggling to be freed but with no avail.

“Well, I’m going to be doing things a bit differently than before, so Paris’ greatest heroes cannot know you exist.” 

Night Terror’s heart thumps rapidly in his chest, each word from Papillon’s mouth causing him to sink deeper and deeper in despair.

“It’s best that you remain here and stay compliant. If you don’t…” Papillon squeezes his gloved hand into a tight fist and immediately, Night Terror’s whole body screams in agony, making him release a anguished howl.

“I-I can easily give nightmares to Ladybug and Chat Noir without staying here!” Night Terror stammers, his heart sinking. “P-please don’t keep me here!”

Papillon sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in a way to alleviate his frustration.

“And here I thought I could go about this without restraint…”

His hands clench and Night Terror howls echoes throughout the lair, never to be heard as Paris remains in its peaceful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! This will be only one of the few chapters from Papillon's perspective, as most of them will be from my very favorite dynamic duo :3 This is my first fan fiction, so please feel free to give me any comments or critics. I plan to update at the latest every Sunday :)


	2. Troubled Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an unsurprisingly easy defeat of an akuma, Chat Noir and Ladybug get even closer. However, they remain blissfully ignorant of the nightmares to come till they reach the night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Fluff and some violence ahead.

_ Ladybug _

“Pound it!” Chat Noir and I shout in unison, fists bumping together as we watch the white butterfly flutter away into the setting sun. 

The former akumatized villain, the Joker, reverts back to the normal clown he once was, a bit confused, but happy once more. Helping the clown up, I give him a friendly smile before sending him on his way back to his shop, giving a few words of advice on the importance of good laughter with Chat trailing behind me. Swinging an arm around my shoulder, he shines his signature grin as cameras flash, marking another one of our victories. Reporters yell out questions, shoving microphones in our faces. I meet the excited gaze of my good friend and avid reporter of the Ladyblog, Alya, and turn my attention to her.

“Chat Noir, Ladybug, on a scale of one to ten, how difficult would you rate this villain’s defeat?” Alya asks with a smile, recording the conversation with a camera in one hand and her phone to transcribe my response in the other.

Glancing at each other, Chat and I smile knowingly. The Joker, though deadly as he may seem, was actually quite harmless. Though semi-difficult to perform our attacks through huge fits of laughter, both Chat Noir and I didn’t have to use our special powers, Lucky Charm or Cataclysm, as was routine for most battle now-a-days. Honestly, if the akuma doesn’t cause much damage, I don’t even use my miraculous ladybug move to mend everything, as it really isn’t necessary. Since we haven’t been using our special powers, it leaves our miraculouses high on energy, letting me enjoy Chat’s company for hours afterwards instead of minutes before quick goodbyes as our miraculouses run out. My mind focuses back to the interview at hand as Chat begins to speak.

“Each akuma brings their own havoc on Paris and though the Joker might have been on the easy side for us, it wouldn’t be fair to rate his difficulty as a villain because Ladybug and I both were on our A-game today. Isn’t that right, my lady?” Chat Noir says with a smile, slightly squeezing my shoulder.

I nod, returning his smile and allowing his hand to stay. Over the years, I’ve come to tolerate and, even sometimes, like Chat’s antics whether it be his flirting or simple gestures like a hand around my shoulder. I’ve grown to accept him and we’ve grown even closer together both as a team and as good friends, if not my very best friend.

“I agree. As our partnership remains strong, no akuma will stand in our way for long,” I say sweetly, before a mischievous grin spreads across my face as my eyes connect with Chat’s. “Though, you  _ were _ a bit slow on dodging the Joker’s laughing gas, causing us to become affected by it, kitty.”

His cat eyes narrow slightly, accepting my jab, as a cheshire grin forms ear to ear on his face.

“Really? And here I thought it was  _ you  _ who wasn’t paying attention as he landed the attack and being the ever loyal cat I am, I  _ purr _ tected you,” he purrs, poking my nose playfully with a claw.

“Hm, I can’t seem to recall that! And now that the puns have made an appearance, I definitely don’t believe you,” I retort back, a finger flicking across the bell that rests around his throat.

A chorus of  _ aw _ ’s and a few comments like “they bicker like an old married couple” and “I ship them so hard” remind me of our current location of in the middle of a crowd of gawking reporters and cooing bystanders, which brings me out of my teasing mindset, a light blush dusting my cheeks.

After answering a few more questions, I can tell that Chat’s demeanor changes from comfortable to antsy as his claws drum on my shoulder, then to my waist, then back up my arm to my shoulder again. That cat is always full of energy and I know standing in one spot for too long is unbearable for him. With a quick glance at each other, the two of us silently agree to go to one of our favorite places, the top of the Eiffel Tower. Beckoning the reporters goodbye, I swing my yoyo back before launching it forward, propelling me high in the sky, Chat not too far behind.

“Race?” I say with a smirk while stopping on the roof of a building next to Chat Noir, chuckling as I meet with his competitive gaze. 

“See you at the finish line, my Lady,” Chat sings, dashing away before I even have a chance to blink.

“That mangy, alley cat...” I laugh to myself and though my words are harsh, my expression is soft as I follow my companion.

The two of us bound over the rooftops, not a care in the world. I cherish the wind as it runs its fingers through my hair, cooling my sweaty bangs. While summer’s end had already passed, Paris still remains hot. My breaths coming in bursts, I continue onwards, adrenaline and competitiveness coursing through my veins. The Eiffel Tower fills my view and Chat’s thankfully still behind me. My feet land on the metal grates a mere second before Chat’s and I give him a cheeky grin.

“Even by cheating, you can’t beat me, you silly cat!” I giggle, teasing him by giving him a mere light scratch under the chin before pulling my hand away, making him grunt in frustration.

“Technically, I wasn’t cheating,” Chat grins, his tail flicking. “I was just taking advantage of the situation.”

I hum in disbelief, letting the issue slid as I plop down on the edge of the tower, my feet dangling off the edge. Chat joins me with a content purr, our knees knocking together. Colors paint across the sky, filling Paris with a warm glow as the sun meets the earth in a loving embrace, dipping down to touch the buildings. We stay a few moments in comfortable silence, watching the colorful display unfold before us.

“The sunset is quite beautiful tonight,” I comment after a few minutes, unconsciously leaning into Chat’s muscular frame.

He slides an arm around my shoulder and I find myself inch closer to him. I justify my actions as Chat’s body provides a nice cushion, not at all because I might like the way my body fits perfectly with his.

“Ah, but not as beautiful as my lady,” Chat replies with ease.

I meet his piercing gaze head on and give his shoulder a light shove, making his arm drop.

“Now, now, kitty. Let’s put a pause on your flirting and watch the sunset instead.”

He simply smiles, looking upon me with knowing eyes and lies down, stretching his long body out before curling into my lap with a satisfied mewl. I chuckle and run my fingers through his soft, thick hair, scratching his scalp, earning me low, rumbling purrs from his throat. I love how cozy and content the atmosphere is and once again, am thankful of my partner’s presence. 

The sun bids it's finally goodbye for the night, disappearing under the city’s structures and the moon has it’s time to shine, touching all with its light, moon beams. The city becomes alive in city lights, like fireflies all around. I sigh, knowing that soon our time would run out. Though our miraculouses still run high on power, there’s still homework I have to attend to.

“We should probably get going, Chat,” I murmur, ceasing to play with his hair, causing him to mewl once more.

He looks up at me with big, green eyes and a pout.

“Come on, Bugaboo. The night is still young and so are we…”

I laugh and gently raise his head off my lap for me to stand.

“While the night is young, my homework still remains undone!”

Chat jumps back onto his feet, energy replacing his former laziness, his eyes flicking and fangs flashing from his grin. 

“Though not a pun, you did rhyme, my Lady! I’d say that I’m finally rubbing off on you,” he almost sings, tail wrapping around my waist.

I sigh in exasperation, but can’t keep the smile off my face.

“Maybe you are. Perhaps I should cancel tomorrow’s patrol in hopes of regaining my dignity and good sense of humor…”

“ _ Meow _ ch! My lady, you wound me!” He says rather extravagantly, placing a clawed hand on his heart and dramatically tossing his head back, as if in pain, earning an eyeroll from me. “My humor is quite good, if I do say so myself… But, I wouldn’t want to keep from your homework any longer.”

He drops down on a knee, grasping my hand before pressing a soft kiss on the back of it. 

“Until next time, my Lady,” he murmurs in my skin before bounding off the building, catching himself from falling with his extending staff, giving me one last wink before disappearing in the city below.

I smile and my eyes stay fixated to where Chat once was, a strange warm feeling blossoming in my chest, making my cheeks rosy and limbs tingly. I blame it on the hot air around me.

A few swings of my yoyo and leaps across Paris later, I find my way back to my home, sighing softly as I perch on my balcony. I release my transformation and smile as Tikki flutters over to me.

“I must say Marinette, that was such a cute scene today with you and Chat Noir!” she begins, a cheeky smile on her lips.

I sigh softly, already knowing her motives. More often than not, Chat Noir has become one of the top subjects of conversation between TIkki and I, whether I liked it or not.

“A cute scene between  _ friends _ , Tikki…”

“Are you really sure you are just friends?” she answers in a sing-song voice.

“No, we aren’t just friends,” I reply and she stares at me with wide eyes, a wide smile spreading across her face. But I will not give the answer she seeks. “We’re good friends; best friends even.”

Tikki shrugs.

“You can only deny your feelings for so long, Mari!”

I roll my eyes. Tikki of all people, or kwamis in her case, should know about my crush on Adrien, not Chat Noir; one that ceased to end or even dwindle in intensity after all these years. Thankfully, I can, for the most part, now manage to say coherent sentences around him, but the sweaty palms, lightheadedness and of course, the butterflies remain the same.

Opening the latch and quietly climbing down the ladder, I hop into my desk and begin working out the laborious math problems long into the night. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Settling down into my bed, I let my thoughts drift away as I succumb into sleep’s loving embrace. However, I am greatly mistaken, as I am not met with sweet dreams or even blissful nothingness. Instead…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The darkness of my room melts into Paris’ skyline, one very similar to the sunrise just a few hours earlier. Clad in my signature colors of red and black polka dots, I fly across the city with my yoyo with ease and practiced skill. My eyes darting around to take in the scene around me, I spot Chat bounding over rooftops not so far ahead. He hasn’t yet spotted me, as his back remains turned to my position. I grin to myself and pounce at him, glee filling my being as he jumps, surprise apparent in his tense shoulders and hairs standing on end.

“I got you good!” I sing, lightly punching his back to get a reaction from him.

What I expect is something along the lines of his booming laughter or maybe a flash of his signature, flirty grin, but instead, a strange low noise rumbles around me. It takes a second for me to place the sound: a growl, low and rough, emitting from Chat’s throat. A black smoke begins to fill the surrounding air around us and I can only see Chat Noir. I tense, eyes scanning around me for any source of trouble that he might see that I could not. Then, he growls out my name. It sounds strange on my ears as it is stripped of its normal energy and teasing nature, leaving behind low, rumbles I can hardly recognize as his voice. My heart sinks. Something is very wrong.

“Chat, what is it? What do yo-”

I’m cut off as he whips himself around and pummels me to the nearest structure behind me, my back grazing against the rough rock. I grunt and glare at Chat, annoyed.

“What the hell, Chat?” I say indignantly. “That hurt!”

I open my mouth to say another retort, but he presses a gloved hand over my mouth, claws digging into my cheeks. I wince and finally, meet his eyes, my own ones widening at the sight before me. His pupils are mere slits in a sea of green, making him look like a creature that is barely human. I freeze, my body unresponsive and unable to move.

“Ladybug…” he rumbles again, malice and hate oozing from my name as his claws dig harder into my delicate skin, few blood droplets rolling down as they pierce my cheek.

Thoughts fly around at hurricane speed in my mind.  _ Chat won’t let go. He’s looking at me with such hate… Is he under the influence of an akuma? Is he akumatized himself? _

“Talk so much and never let me speak. All this time, all this  _ damn _ time, I’ve loved you and this what you give me in return?” 

He presses me harder against the chimney, shifting so the majority of his weight presses upon me, hindering my breathing. I try to speak through his hand, to either reassure him and yell some sense into him, but he knocks his elbow into my stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I gasp for air, finding hardly any as his hand covers my mouth and now nose. Stars begin to form in my vision.

“Take, take, take and never give; you never give your so called kitty a second glance. I used to love you, but now, I’ve come to  _ despise _ you.” He growls, shoving me from the wall onto the floor of the roof, where my body falls helpless and limb, still unable to move.

Each word of his is like a punch to my very soul and I can’t help the tears that spring into my eyes. I can take a physical beating no problem (I’ve become used to bruises both from my own clumsiness and as Ladybug), but his words impact me the worst. My barrier had come down for him and now, he’s taking advantage of my opened heart to tear it apart.

“You think you are some kind of hero, but you are a coward. You are  _ nothing _ !” He yells, his mouth curling into a snarl and I can’t help the fear that runs up my body, constricting my throat from speaking anything.

I’ve never felt so afraid before, terror consuming my very being and what disturbs me even more is that fear is from Chat’s doing. Fear’s grasp his replaced by Chat’s as his arm presses against my throat.

“I hate you!” He presses harder and I finally regain all ability to move.

My limbs thrash and hards claw at my throat, but he transfers all his body weight over me, keeping me from removing his hand. I wheeze, but the air that can actually make it’s way to my throat is a raging fire of pain.

“C-chat…” I’m able to get out, my throat burning and eyes tearing up as the pain only intensifies as he presses harder and harder, a crazed smile spread wide across his face and if possible, his pupils shrink even more. “Please…”

“And no one will miss you when you’re dead…” His hissing voice rings in my ears, echoing in my brain as all fades to black.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I gasp and jerk upwards in bed, hands quickly touching my throat. I spend just a few moments just wheezing, catching my breath. Tikki awakens from her slumber and groggily glides over to me. After noticing my teary eyes and frantic expression, she shakes off her sleepiness and worry etches in her features.

“Marinette! What’s wrong?”

I can’t find the words and just shake my head, more tears boiling over and my breaths become more shaky as ugly sobs begin to wrack my body. After all, how can I explain to her that loyal, loving Chat has been twisted ever so terribly in my subconscious to become a creature of hatred and murderous intent? And as horrible as it sounds, I can’t help see my image of playful Chat Noir being replaced by the creature with a crazed look in his eyes and malicious growl that echoed in my mind. I’m scared of Chat Noir and hating myself because of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Another chapter done and a long one too. Please tell me what you think about the chapter, as your comments are always appreciated! The nightmare described above might be one of the more tamer ones that will occur in the story. So, more fluff and angst are to come :)


	3. Waking Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his own disturbing nightmare, Adrien becomes troubled with himself and with the relationship with his Lady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: More violence and some fluff. Enjoy! :)

_ Chat Noir _

Inky black smoke covers what once was beautiful Paris that even my nightvision can’t pierce. But my mind is far from what might cause that anomaly and instead, focused on the strong foot that swiftly kicks my abdomen once more, the crunch of my ribs filling the air as I fall down on all fours. I wheeze, blood dripping from my mouth and onto the pavement, but smile through it, forcing myself to stand. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you like the pain…” my opposer murmurs, punching me with another flurry of attacks and I fall once more to the ground, but my spirit is not crushed, determination filling my gaze.

I bark out a laugh through my pain.

“You’re going to have to do better than that, my Lady,” I breath out of gritted teeth, smearing away the blood from my face.

I really shouldn’t have said that because those beautiful, bluebell eyes, ones I’ve loved for the longest time, widen with an idea, rolling her yoyo up and down.

“You’re right, Chaton…”

In a flash, she ties her yoyo’s cord around my neck, the cool metal slicing my skin. She yanks me upwards, forcing me to stand as she shoves me against the wall. The top part of my collar shields me from some of the damage, but I know I cannot hold on for long as my claws try to break the cord with no avail. 

“Ladybug, I know you know deep down inside you know this is wrong. You’re akumatized and though I can take a beating, I don’t want you to regret this when your back to normal again,” I choke out, trying to discreetly take off the wire from my throat.

I just need to find where the akuma is located and then all will be normal. But, as I scan her form, I cannot find anything out of the ordinary and I growl in frustration. She suddenly beings laughs, starting sweet and innocent, then darkening into something much more malicious.

“Oh you stupid,  _ stupid _ cat… There is no akuma in me. I’ve just finally realized your worth,” she spits, tightening her hold on her yoyo, causing the strings to cling even tighter around my neck. “You are  _ nothing _ to me.”

I gasp, not only for the lack of air, but the truth in her words, the truth I really didn’t want to believe. Her outfit has remained unchanged and expression still clear, but I didn’t and still don’t want to accept the truth. I stare up at her with defiant eyes.

“L-ladybug would never hurt me.”

She tips back her head and laughs some more.

“That’s where you’re wrong. You do nothing, but get in my way and annoy me with your pestering puns and measly jokes.  _ I _ don’t need you anymore,” she emphasizes her words by pulling, harder and harder and I feel the cord rip into my skin. I begin to gag as my own blood fills my throat and lungs.

“You actually think I would actually care for a failure like you? Think I could love a mangy, alley cat? Oh, you are sorely mistaken!”

Her words slice right into my heart, but I have no choice but to ignore the heartbreak for now. My only priority at this point is to stay alive. In a last ditch effort, I force myself to speak.

“Ladybug,” I gurgle. “Please don’t do this. You don’t need to.”

She smiles sweetly.

“I don’t need to, Chat Noir. But, I sure as hell want to.”

She yanks her yoyo and my neck snaps, my world crumbling and turning to black.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Ladybug!” I scream, wreathing around in my bed, my covers constricting me. I rip them from my form, allowing cool air to piece my thin night clothes and sooth my sweating body.

“Can you quiet down, kid? Some of us are trying to…” Plagg begins grumply before registering my distraught expression.

He darts over to me.

“So, I’m guessing it wasn’t a good kind of screaming dream with your Lady?”

Instead of answering with my normal retort, I sniff, fat tears rolling down my face. I try to brush them away, to be strong, but I can’t stop a destitute feeling from filling my chest. Plagg freezes, his eyes widening.

“Whoa, Adrien! Uh, I’m sorry, kid. Want some cheese to make it feel better?” His voice is hesitant as he holds up his precious camembert. I can tell he is actually concerned and perhaps even wants to help, but I can’t take it, at least not now.

“Just leave me alone, Plagg!” I yell, my voice rough from sleep and thick with emotion.

I’ve never seen Plagg fly away so quick and I just catch him muttering something about stupid human emotions. 

Finally alone, I run a shaky hand through my hair to get it out of my face. I can’t stop the stupid tears that run down my cheeks and I swipe at them with the back of my hand, willing them to stop, with no avail. My room is dark, lit only by the moon’s soft light. Standing up, I begin to pace around my room, thoughts flickering into my mind.

_ It was just a dream _ , I think to myself, trying to will my rapidly beating heart slower as my bare feet brush against my carpeted floor.  _ Ladybug wouldn’t ever not want me as a partner _ … I stop in my tracks as a voice in the back of my mind doubts the statement.  _ Would she?  _ I shake my head, letting out a shaky breath.

_ No, no, of course not! She needs me… We’re a team.  _ I rationalize, being my pacing once more. I try to bring to mind happy thought and memories like last night on the Eiffel Tower. Not only did she allow me to cuddle with her, but I think she liked it! The very thought makes my cheeks rosy and my heart speeds up, not from fear, but from love.

_ But she doesn’t feel the same and never will…  _ I jerk, the stray thought malicious and...sad. 

Ladybug’s voice from my nightmare echoes in my mind,  _ “You actually think I could love a mangy, alley cat?” _ It only reassures her lack of feeling towards me.

I swallow, hard, trying to keep my emotions in check. However, either my sleep deprivation, lack of control or both causes my heart to tear painfully at the notion, an infliction far greater than any physical one. I crumble to the floor, a sniffling mess of hot tears and wracking sobs. My nightmare tore at old wounds of never being good enough and not being able to gain my love’s affection. After loving her for so long, I cannot imagine a life without her. 

My tears begin slowing and my face cools in the air around me as my emotions reach its end. I go back to my rational thoughts. I need a way to reassure myself.

Glancing at my clock, I groan as the red numbers read 3:26. I count the time in my head. 18 hours and 4 minutes till I would see My Lady once more on patrol and I honestly don’t know if I can wait that long. My feelings of self loathing and rejection threaten to swallow my being whole. 

Trying to find a way out of my dark thoughts, I find myself at the computer, typing in my most searched website: the Ladyblog. Hands quivering slightly, I click through Alya’s most recent post on today’s akuma, the Joker. Scrolling through the article describing today’s events, I move straight to the pictures. There’s a shot of Ladybug and I laughing our asses off and though it was from the power of the akuma, we still had a good time. My heart warms, slowly thawing away at negative thoughts.

I click the next photo to enlarge it and smile as I see the two of us pictured fist pumping, the Joker on the floor in a funny heap in the background. My eyes are closed, but her’s are opened and they are full of life and light. She looks happy and  _ I  _ made her happy.  _ Maybe she doesn’t love me, but she does feel something for me, right? _

The last picture is blurry and of bad quality, but the scene remains crisp in my mind. Someone, probably Alya, had managed to snap a picture of the two of us sitting on the Eiffel Tower, a mere outline of our figures in the setting sun. We’re so close together that our dark figures almost merge together into one. 

Reliving the memory, I feel the wind on my uncovered cheeks and the feel of Ladybug’s glossy suit around my arm. The smell of her hair, like the outdoors, strawberries and something just Ladybug fills my nostrils and I remember watching her profile, studying her button nose and pink lips. Those eyes, her alluring blue eyes, had reflected the sunset in such a stunning way. And when she had commented about how beautiful the sunset was, I couldn’t help but tell her she was more beautiful, because  _ she was _ , far more radiant than the sun or the moon. She was Ladybug, my love. 

And then there’s me, either the quiet, lonely, doormat model, whose only admirers loved him because of his looks or the pun-loving, occasionally funny or descent superhero who usually just screws up all the damn time, a person who annoys the hell out of their only love. I’m no match for her, I know, but I’ll live every day of my life trying to deserve her, and I’ll even die for her if I had to. 

_ If only she felt the same. _ I sigh as my negative thoughts returned once more, my blissful thoughts of Ladybug poisoned by my fears and nightmares.  _ It’s going to be a long night _ .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After years of late-night crime fighting, I’ve come to perfect the art not getting any sleep for days, but still looking fine. Though I dislike wearing it, as a model, I know my way around makeup and intricately covered my dark circles and pale skin with an efficient amount of concealer that still keeps my face looking normal enough. I also made sure to drink twice the amount of coffee that I normally do to keep myself alert and that’s how I found myself in class relentlessly jiggling my leg, eyes glancing restlessly at the clock.

Normally, I am able to keep my energy at bay as Adrien, waiting patiently till I can let it all out as Chat Noir, but today, I can’t stop moving. It’s a mix of the extra caffeine flowing through my veins and the impatience to see Ladybug. I just need to see her face once more and all my worries will be put to rest. I can imagine her smiling at me, taking my hand or running her hands through my hair. My cheeks warm just thinking about it and maybe, this time, I can sneak a peck right on her voluptuous lips, but then… What if she pushes me away as I had crossed the line and then wants nothing to do with me? What if she rejects me, leaves me forever? Oh God, she probably would despise me, and even know she hates my stupid puns and probably just wants me to-

“Dude, you okay?” Nino asks, waving a hand in front of my face.

I cough, trying to hide my blush by putting a hand through my hair. I nod and Nino laughs.

“You sure, dude? I’ve been calling your name for the past minute!” he peers worriedly at me as I shrug, a model smile on my face to hid my distress. 

Thankfully, he quickly becomes distracted by explosions outside of the school. A strange creature emerges at the window and I get a glimpse of their green scaled covered body and large wings before they fly above my view.

“I am Reptilla and you will respect my scaled friends!” She, at least I think, screeches and I see snakes fall down through the window, causing chaos down below.

_ Looks like I’ll be seeing my Lady a lot sooner than expected _ , I think, pulling Nino from the room, before splitting ways, trying to find a place to transform. Strange nerves fill my limbs at the prospect of seeing my lady and not the good kind. I gulp down the lump in my throat as I dive into a supply closet.  _ I just hope my nightmare Ladybug doesn’t become a reality... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3, baby! Yeah! This was originally going to be like 10 pages longer, but I realized halfway through writing it that I would be way too long, so I decided to split it up. Also, the POV will alternate between Ladybug and Chat Noir pretty equally throughout the rest of the chapters, while a few might be through other specific characters in the future. As always, thanks for reading :3


	4. Living Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a new akumatized villain wrecking havoc on Paris, Ladybug and Chat Noir must confront not only them, but also their nightmares.

_ Ladybug _

Gracefully leaping around the fallen venomous snakes, I land softly upon the roof of my school, scanning the surroundings for any trace of the self-named villain Reptillia, a woman of all scales and snakes. A clawed hand lands on my shoulder and I flinch, my flight or fight response activated and I quickly choose the fight route. I grasp hard on the arm and swing its owner over my shoulder and onto the shingles of the roof in front of me. Chat Noir groans. 

“Hello to you too, my Lady…” he mutters as I laugh with a slight uncomfortable lilt to it and reach my hand up to help him up, my eyes shining with unsaid apologies.

As he grasps my hand, I meet his gaze and for a moment, my imagination takes over. I project those crazed monster eyes with mere slits for pupils over his kind, green ones with almond-shaped pupils. My eyes quickly dart away and strangely enough, I shrink away slightly, my arms crossing self-consciously across my chest. Though this is a common action for Marinette, such signs of weakness is unheard of as Ladybug. Chat’s playful expression morphs into concern as he stands.

“My Lady? What’s-” He’s cut off as a screech fills the air and we both automatically go into a fighting stance.

The creature flies above us with a cackle, snakes protruding from her sleeves. Her snake tongue slithers out of her mouth and her monstrous eyes narrow into slits as she sees us. A magenta butterfly mask briefly shines around her eyes and she cackles once more.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir, give me your miraculou _ ssss _ e _ ssss _ ,” she hisses, diving down towards us.

Chat and I jump in the same direction, but he sorely miscalculates his landing. He falls on top of me with a crash, my back hitting hard against the roof’s tiles. Panic fills my body as his body crushes on mine, my mind filling with the memory of my life fading as my nightmare version of him presses harder and harder against me till I can’t breathe…. Fear clouding my judgement, my body tenses and I ready myself to shove him off of me, before truly realizing what I am about to do. 

My vision clears and I see those kind green eyes stare at me with concern as he watches my internal battle unfold before him as I had stupidly allowed my emotions to filter across my face. He shifts his weight onto his hands placed on either side of me and then, does something unexpected; he places a soft peck on the tip of my nose to comfort me. My dark thoughts forgotten for a moment, I feel strange as my skin burns at where he pressed his lips, a blush rising to the surface of my skin without my consent. Chat’s eye crinkle and twinkle with mischief as a large grin plasters on his face from my body’s reaction. 

The spell is broken, however, as Reptilla makes another attempt at our miraculous, diving downwards with a loud screech once more. Twisting off my body, Chat rolls away from the attack as I duck in the other direction, barely missing her jagged nails. She soars up in the sky, flipping once before making her way back to us with a wild look in her eye and claws outstretched, snakes falling from her loose sleeves. My eyes rapidly scanning the akumatized villain before me, I spot a darkly colored, snake shaped pin clipped in her hair.

“The hair clip…” I murmur and Chat Noir understands and nods, readying himself to attack.

I throw my yoyo and let it wrap around her from, constricting her. She hisses and struggles against the cord, but I pull back against her, keeping her from flying away. But, as my hands are full, I wait for Chat to get her clip. However, after a few moments, he still doesn’t appear. 

I glance behind me and see him frozen, body tense and eyes fixated on the cords of my yoyo. I see his chest rapidly rise and fall as his hands clench into fists before lightly brushing against the nape of his neck. I flash him a urgent look, but he looks right past me as if I’m not even there.

“Chat!” I grunt, pulling harder as Reptilla whips back her powerful wings in another attempt to free herself.

His eyes snap to mine and I see his unfocused, dilated pupils snap back to the present. He seems confused, but readies himself anyways to get the hair piece, but it is too late. Reptilla creates a powerful gust of wind from her wings, knocking me down and freeing herself. With a hiss, she speeds away into the clouds where we cannot she her. I sigh and turn to Chat who anxiously swings on the balls of his feet.

“Chat, what’s wrong?” I ask, questioning his strange actions and he grins sheepishly.

“Nothing, just distracted,” he mutters, then his ears droops and he looks up at me with huge, kitty-cat eyes. “I failed… I’m so sorry, my Lady!”

His mood change is sudden, but I can tell he is greatly affected by it. Bowing down, Chat looks as if he were preparing himself for the worst as I were going to strike him or yell at him. His dejected and sad expression almost breaks my heart. His reaction towards a single mistake is already sad enough; he would probably never forgive himself if he hurt me and I mentally berate myself for ever doubting my partner in thinking that he would even think of harming me. Swallowing my  _ stupid _ anxiety that shouldn’t even exist at the sight of his claws, I take his hands and smile, sweet and genuine.

“You’ll never fail me, Chat. Today’s just one of those off days and trust me, I’m having one, too.”

He sniffs, then takes the opportunity to place a gentle kiss on each palm. Glancing up at me, he gives me a warm look, eyes so full of light and relief that I can’t help but smile at him. He smiles back and my heart trembles at how adorable he looks with his eyes twinkling and smile wide. Then, shaking away my thoughts, we begin our trek for the akuma.

Even though I personally feel unaffected by Chat’s presence, my body thinks otherwise. As if acting on its own accord, I stray from his touch as he seems to gravitate closer towards me while we bound over the rooftops. I hate that I’m doing so, reminding myself of how gentle he is, but his touch just reminds me of another him, one of evil intent that I cannot erase from my mind. Unfortunately, this means that the only way to forget about it is for Chat to stop touching me. 

“ _ Ssss _ he’s a  _ ssss _ lippery one,” Chat Noir jokes to me, elbowing me slightly in the arm, jolting me out of my thoughts.

I groan, rolling my eyes and am thankful as my stupid fear resides.  _ See, it’s just Chat!  _ I think to myself.

“Seriously, that’s the best you could come up with?”

He chuckles, glancing at me as, in unison, we jump from roof to roof. Though we do not slow our pace, nor lose our concentration on trying to find the akuma, we still maintain our conversation uninterrupted.

“I think it was rather  _ purr _ fect,” he literally purrs, tilting his head close to my ear so I can hear his rumble and eyebrows wiggling to try and get a reaction from me.

His suit grazes mine and images flash in my mind of sharpen claws, monstrous eyes, terrifying fangs...I close my eyes, take a deep breath to clear the images and turn to smile at him, hoping he viewed my pain expression as towards his pun and not him.  _ Stop this Mari!  _ I growl internally.

“Oh no!” I murmur, forcing myself to regain my playfulness. “Anything but the cat puns!”

A grin spreads across his face and his eyes are almost devilishly mischievous. I know I made a horrible mistake as soon as he opens his mouth.

“Now, my Lady, I am  _ paw _ sative that you adore these  _ purr _ fect puns. If you don’t, that would be a  _ cat _ astrophe!”

I hit my forehead with my palm and just leave my hand there, letting my exasperated expression leak through my fingers. Opening my mouth to reply back with a retort of the idiocy of puns, I stop as I see her. Reaching one hand out in front of me to stop Chat and the other to put a finger to my lips, I slow our pace till we are only a few meters from Reptilla as she plagues the citizens of Paris with hundreds of snakes, her back turned to us. Chat catches on quickly and we both slink down low on the roof, crawling until we were in a good position to launch a surprise attack.

For some odd reason, Chat wraps his leather tail around my waist, keeping me close. Though on another day, I might have appreciated this gesture, now, I just want to get away. His tail just reminds me off his suit then his claws then those claws grasping tightly around my neck then his eyes, his crazed, inhuman eyes… I shake my head. I try to wiggle away from him, but he only moves closer to me till our arms are pressing tightly together. I glance at him to gauge his reaction, yet he never makes eye contact, looking straight ahead as if he’s doing nothing at all. I swallow my annoyance and focus at the task at hand.

Finally, we reach the edge of the roof. With a glance at each other, we ready ourselves to pounce, when, suddenly, Chat is on me, pushing me against a wall. His body presses against mine as my back scratches against the rough rock and all hell breaks loose in my mind, a dark fog filling my mind. My imagination blurs with reality as Chat hisses and growls at me, inhuman and evil, trying to keep me from escaping by keeping all his weight on me. He bares his fangs at me, about to bite into my neck like a wild animal when I finally act. I shove the cursed creature off of me...then, the projection and smoke fades and I watch, in horror, as the  _ real _ Chat Noir falls off the roof and into a horde of snakes. 

He tries to extend his staff to break the fall, but cannot keep the snakes from him. With a horrid hiss, the snake nearest to him sinks its fangs into his shoulder and another on his ankle, other snakes ready to attack. I act first. Horrified at myself, I swing my yoyo against the cursed creatures, making them flee from his body. I rush over to him.

“Chat!” I yell, my emotions boiling over.

He forces himself to stand, hand clutching his shoulder and keeping weight on one of his feet. I immediately lift his hand to access the damage and am greeted with an ugly bite with the surrounding skin turning purple. I feel tears beginning to brim my eyes and my chest feels heavy, constricted with the tears that are soon to come. He’s hurt and I’m the one who caused it. I wrap my hands around him and look up at him, shameful and oh-so-sorry. He smiles, trying to reasure me, but its laced with pain. Then, his eyes widen and he ducks, pulling me down with him. Unfortunately, I was so wrapped up with Chat that I didn’t notice Reptilla’s clawed hand rushing towards us, but thankfully Chat did. 

“I’m so sorry…” I whisper to him, emotion thick in my words, but he shakes his head, smiling at me once more.

“Later. Now, we have an akuma to catch.”

Sniffling, I nod, trying my best to cool my emotions to set them aside for later and call for my lucky charm. A bottle of a strange substance falls into my hand and I stare quizzically at it. Chat snorts lightly, then growls. I glance over at him and see his face scrunching in pain as I watch the poison make its way down from his shoulder through his arm slowly. 

“Hurry, my Lady…”

I watch Reptilla become distracted by a group of citizens who have strayed too close. I read the bottle’s label:  _ Cinnamon Oil _ .  _ What the heck am I going to do with that…  _ I think to myself. Spilling a bit out experimentally, I watch as the lazy snakes slithering around us quickly dart away from the liquid. My eyes widen and I smirk. Eyes quickly darting around, I see a electric pole not to far from Chat. 

“When I say go, use your Cataclysm on the pole, okay?”

He nods and makes his way over to it, calling upon his special power, waiting patiently. I watch him lean heavily on the pole, sweat glistening across his face which remains deathly pale and a sharp stab of guilt pierces me.  _ Not now, Marinette... You have to focus at the task at hand. Chat can wait. _ I shake my head to clear my thoughts and guilt, for now.

“Reptilla!” I yell, my eyes narrowing and she rapidly turns her head, her pupils narrowing as she sees me. “Come and get me!”

She rushes towards me and I chuck the bottle with all my might beside her. She takes a whiff of the substance, then shrieks, eyes widening as she quickly darts in the opposite direction of it. With a glance at Chat, he touches the pole and the wires above it snap and tangle around Reptilla, trapping her. In a rush, I snatch her hairclip and break it apart in my hands, a dark akuma fluttering from it. Hastily purifying it, I throw the bottle in the air with the words  _ Miraculous Ladybug _ flying from my lips. As a mass of lucky ladybugs buzz around, fixing all, I go immediately to Chat. The ladybugs swarm around him, tending to his wounds and he falls into my arms.

Immediately, I run my hands over his suit, searching for any tears that might remain from his bites.  _ Screw my visions of nightmare him!  _ I think angrily to myself.  _ Chat is hurt because of me!  _ I run my fingers delicately over his shoulder, on his ankle, until his hand covers mine, stopping my searching. He smiles at me and tears bubble over. I grasp him tightly and though at first he his stiff, his body relaxes and he hugs me just as fiercely.

“I’m so,  _ so _ sorry!” I cry, running my hands through his hair. “I would never hurt you, I was just… I thought I saw…” No matter what I do, I can’t seem to get the words I wish out.  _ I had a nightmare that you hated and killed me… Not the best thing to say… _

He pulls away from me and smiles reassuringly at me again. 

“Ladybug, it’s okay, I’m okay.”

He gently traces my jaw before lifting it to meet his eyes, to see the forgiveness and a warm look I cannot place. Tears fall from my eyes, rolling down my cheeks and he wipes them away tenderly with his gloved hand. I appreciate the gesture and smile softly at him. My miraculous beeps impatiently and my eyes snap away from his, putting some distance between our too close faces. 

“I think it’s best that we call off the patrol tonight. Papillon probably needs to recharge after this akuma…” I murmur to him, slightly embarrassed at my earlier reaction of crying, hastily wiping the remaining tears from my face.

He nods and noticing the distance I put between us, remains away from me, although I can tell he wants to touch me. He smiles sadly at me as I turn to leave, hand outstretched to let my yoyo fly.

“I’ll miss you until then, my Lady.”

For some reason, guilt overwhelms me once more, reminding me of my prior actions of hurting Chat and here I am, leaving him once more, awkward and emotional. I sigh. This won’t do. Quickly turning, I place a soft kiss on his cheek. His eyes widen almost comically wide and his face burns bright red. I resist the urge to laugh at his reaction and instead, allow a smile to cross my face.

“Sorry again, Chat. Sleep well!” I yell after him, allowing myself to leave with my guilt slightly settled.

_ That will put him a good mood _ . I think to myself with a chuckle. Then, a yawn overtakes me.  _ Fighting these villains can be so draining sometimes… _ Contemplating whether or not I have a enough time to do so, I decide to take a nap as soon as I go home, hopefully to get myself recharged. Of course, I remain ignorant, thinking I might get a good night sleep, but when I place my head on my pillow, only more nightmares greet me, plaguing me long throughout the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a bit longer than I thought it would, but through standardized testing and exams, it's finally done! I didn't want to go in full angst mode yet haha, so I put some fluff in this chapter to balance it out. Thanks for reading and please, tell me what you think! :)


	5. Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien faces more terrifying nightmares as well as their after effects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Violence and Angst in this chapter

_Chat Noir_

Eight days, nine hours and roughly five minutes to be exact. That’s the amount of time since I’ve had decent sleep. Not that I’ve been counting or anything _._ I glance at the clock with the bright numbers 4:45 staring back at me and I sigh, trying to find ways to kill some time on this early Saturday morning.

Running a hand through my unruly hair, I reason that by not sleeping, I get so many more hours out of each day. Instead of sleeping, I can be doing homework, practicing piano, saving Paris, the usual. My expression turns slightly hopeful, almost convincing myself that a lack of sleep can be good, till the negatives enter my mind, dampening my fleeting good mood. For, in each day, I’m groggy, sleep deprived and hardly myself.

Drowsily pushing the covers from my form, I stretch my limbs out, hearing them creak in protest, trying to distract myself from going down a negative path. No use in trying to fake sleeping any longer. I find myself getting lost once more in my thoughts as I rise and enter my closet, shifting through clothes to find something to wear.

But… The truth is I would rather get no sleep at all than have to face the terrors that plague me at night. Each one seems to feature my favorite person, Ladybug, but I have had some guest star appearances of my father where he is cold as usual, my few good friends and once, my mother. The one with my mother dying before my eyes strengthened my resolve to completely cut sleeping out of my life.

However, I’ve noticed a toll the lack of sleep has taken on both my mind and body. Slipping on a comfortable dark shirt and jeans over my boxers, which of course are lined with the Agreste name, I wander over to my bathroom. Staring at myself in my bathroom mirror, I take in my appearance. I take notice of the permanent dark circles hanging under my eyes and the pale tone my skin has taken, as if I have never seen the light of day.

Perhaps if I was a normal teen, my appearance wouldn’t matter, but since I’m a model people _have_ taken notice and my appearance _does_ matter to them. The _perfect_ Agreste child losing his perfect complexion? Well, in this appearance driven world, they would have a fit. But, this isn't the case, for my father made sure that _no one_ would find out that his child had lost his so called perfection at least in the looks department. So, they still use me as a model, but cake on the makeup and photoshop my figure a lot more than they used to. My father has been leaving sleeping pills by my meals, which he _recommends,_ or really forcibly commands, I take. Since he isn't there to watch me though, every night, I flush them down the toilet. He doesn't ask why I’ve been losing sleep and I don't plan to tell him.

But, what they don't notice is my most drastic change. It is what only I can see. Looking into my green eyes, I see the underneath my mask of competency the growing emotion of fear. I hate to admit to it, but my nightmares have shaken me to the core and I can’t help looking over my shoulder for those demons haunting me as both Adrien and my more wild side, Chat Noir. However, no one should ever know. Especially my lady. Who falls for a coward who is scared of his inner demons anyways?

Sighing, I splash some cold water on my face to wake me up, trying to keep my droopy eyelids open. I pinch my cheeks to add some color to them and to try and not look like a half-awake zombie. Plagg drifts over to me with a yawn, already clutching his favorite cheese in his paws. He nods at me in greeting and I roll my eyes, widening my jean pocket for him to relax in. I’ve noticed he’s seems to be less sarcastic and Plagg-like lately. As if he’s worried that I can’t take his sarcasm without breaking down or something. Bullshit. I can handle him, but it's a nice change. At least he isn't pestering me as much about cheese.

Then, I journey out of my room and downstairs to the dining room to eat my breakfast in the vast, empty hall. Five isn’t too early to eat. Usually, a chef makes my food for me, always smiling as she placed the meal before me and as she has become accustomed to my early rising, she has been so kind to make food for me even earlier. However, instead of the chef, Nathalie greets me, a cup of her black coffee in one hand and my breakfast in another.

As a model, I have to be put on a strict eating regime and usually my breakfast consist of a protein-rich porridge with steel oats and some type of protein. Usually, the chef sneaks in some type of sweet for me, but she can’t always. It’s always well appreciated though. The chef is kind and I like her. Her kind eyes, though brown, not green, remind me of my mother’s and the very thought of her, my dear mother, stabs me in the heart.

Taking a few deep breathes, I watch as Nathalie places multiple plates before me and I probably would have jumped in surprise and glee if I wasn't so damn tired. For, today, Nathalie brings over scrambled eggs, ones that aren’t just the whites, fresh fruit and _oh dear god_ , pancakes, a delicacy I haven’t had in years.

And even stranger, instead of eating alone in silence, Nathalie sits beside me, watching as I work on my pancakes, dousing them with the heavenly maple syrup and nursing a second cup of coffee. _God, if my father saw me now he would have a heart attack!_ I think, happily munching on a strawberry. I feel as if I’m almost in heaven. Almost. What would make it perfect is if Ladybug was here with me. But, these delicious pancakes will still do nicely.

I smile softly to myself as I see some cheese next to the plate and try my best to discreetly hand it to Plagg. However, instead of devouring it, he stares at it suspiciously, sniffing it with his eyes narrowed. I resist the urge to roll my eyes at his pickiness. _Hell, if he doesn't want it, I’ll have it_ , I think with a smirk, popping it in my mouth.

I turn to Nathalie and with a full blown smile, one I never really have unless I’m Chat Noir, I thank her profusely. She smile back at me, then glances at her clock, but remains sitting next to me. Though I am grateful for her presence to keep my loneliness at bay, my curiosity has begun to get the best of me. She stares at me expectantly, watching as I devour my food with a careful eye.

“Yes?” I inquire, not trying to be rude, but genuinely curious of her presence today.

She smiles tersely at me, but that’s not what bothers me. What I find particularly strange is the worried and almost sorrowful look in her eyes as she sips her coffee.

“I have a personal question for you, Adrien,” she murmurs into her cup and her odd behavior causes me to slightly raise my eyebrow as I dig into my third or maybe fourth pancake. I’ve lost count.

I nod in acknowledgement while chewing, trying to remain semi-civilized and not devour my food like an animal like I want to. She sighs and takes a breath, hesitant of asking her question.

“Have you had a bad breakup?”

My eyebrow sky rockets upwards even higher in surprise and I nearly choke on my food. _A bad breakup?_ Hell, I don’t even have a girlfriend, though I do have a wonderful _lady_ in mind… I take my time to swallow my food and I dab my face with my napkin to rid of the sticky syrup.

“No…” I say, my voice laced with unspoken questions and my expression remains quizzical as I study Nathalie’s features to try and deduct her reasoning behind her question.

“Then, stress from school?” she murmurs as she glances at the clock on her wrist.

I panic internally, stopping my feast. If she is inquiring on my school, that might mean my father no longer sees it fit for me to go. Though I have been able to attend high school pretty regularly throughout my years, my father has threatened my freedom of going to school if I didn’t performing all the extra-curricular activities he wanted me to. Thankfully, I am able to balance between them, but if Nathalie is starting to question my abilities in school, my father would follow. I make sure to keep my face a mask, not really showing my internal conflict. I make myself laugh softly.

“Stress from school? If anything, it has been a stress reliever! I’m learning such interesting concepts and enjoying the company of my good friends. And I’m still performing my other extra curriculars well like those photoshoots the other day, piano, fencing, etc.” I say almost matter factly, trying to convince her that I am fine.

Her eyebrows scrunch together momentarily in confusion and then her eyes widen in recognition.

“Adrien, you aren’t going to be pulled from school.” I let my slightly tense shoulders relax at her statement. “However, I need to know… Why haven’t you been sleeping?”

Oh. This is what this whole conversation is about. A lie coats the top of my tongue, ready to slip out about my state of being, but something stops me. It’s look in her eyes. She looks genuinely concerned and the way she slightly leans her body towards me shows that she wants to listen. She isn’t like my father, a man who merely half-listens to what you say, too wrapped up in his own life to broaden his horizons to the life of others. Nathalie _wants_ to hear me. That’s why when I open my mouth to speak, truth pours out instead of my carefully crafted lies.

“I’ve been having nightmares,” I begin, eyes downcast, but feeling a bit more relieved by admitting it out loud. “Of losing those I care about… I can’t bare to relive them every night, so I haven’t been sleeping.”

My answer is short and to the point, one that doesn’t dwelve too deep into the truth of Ladybug or my secret identity, but still gives enough information for her to be satisfied with my answer. It lifts some weight off my chest to admit to the night terrors and a part of me is so glad finally tell someone in hopes that they’ll be able to help me. However, the mention of my nightmares makes me lose my appetite and I push my plate away from me. Nathalie glances at her clock again and smiles softly at me.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll sleep well soon,” she says kindly, looking strange on her normally robotic, cold features.

I laugh goodnaturedly.

“I hope not! As soon as I do, the nightmares return.”

Her smile slips from her lips and her eyes dart around nervously. My heart sinks.

“What?” I question softly, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she looks at her clock for the third time in the span of minutes. “Why do you keep on looking at your watch?”

She swallows nervously, beads of sweat beginning to form and suddenly, a wake of drowsiness hits me. I glance down at the food before me and realize what she had done: she drugged my food!

“No, no, no, no, no…” I murmur to myself, eyes widening and pulse jumping wildly in my throat.

I slap my cheeks, trying to will myself awake, trying to battle the drowsiness. How could I have been so stupid?! God, why else would I have delicious food than to mask the taste of the pills she had put into it? Hysteria begins to overwhelm my body, the lack of sleep combined with terror of facing the nightmares again causes my emotions to go haywire. I pull at my hair and grit my teeth, tears springing from my eyes. _No, no, no!_ I beat at my head, trying to will my brain to fight against the drug's effects, but to no avail. A light gasp reminds me of the other occupant of the room and I turn all my attention and emotions towards her. A bubbling rage begins grow deep in my chest as I place blame on Nathalie.

“What did you do?” I hiss through gritted teeth and suddenly, all composure gets thrown out the window.

There’s no way in hell that I’m going to face those nightmares again and for a strange reason, the very prospect of someone forcing me to see them, even out of kindness, makes my blood boil. How could she do this to me? How _dare_ she? My eyes rise from the food and meet hers, a strange fire burning within them. She flinches and goes to put a hand on my shoulder.

“It’s okay, Adrien, everything will be-” she stops mid-sentence with a grimace as I grab her hand by the wrist, eyes wide.

“Why would you do this to me?!” I yell, gripping tighter on her pale wrist.

A growl begins to emit in my throat as my emotional Chat Noir side begins to show. I’m a fighter and dammit, I’m not going down without a fight. Authority and anger coating my words, I begin to speak.

“Reverse these effects, _now,”_ I growl, my eyes narrowing.

She shakes her head, tears spilling from her eyes.

“I-I don’t know how! Adrien, I’m sorry!”

Her words echo in my mind as the heat of my anger dissipates, leaving behind cold fear of what I know I will soon face. Desperate and afraid, I cling onto her for dear life as if she’s my only tether to the real world. I hold tighter and tighter till I no longer feel like Adrien, the shy model, or even Chat, the free spirit. I am a different person all together, a creature of rage. And right now, the subject of my rage is her, the monster before me who brought upon this all to me.

Her body morphs, contorts into a hideous creature as reality blurs with nightmares. It’s jagged fangs try and sink into my skin, but I shove it away, a mere inches from my throat, and ready myself to attack, when, suddenly, the smoke clears for a brief moment. I feel someone or something tug me away from Nathalie by my pocket, who I realize is Plagg and then, I really see her.

Her face is stained with tears and bruises begin to form on the pale skin of her arm. But what alarms me the most is her terror-filled eyes as I stare up at her, my eyes crazed like a wild animal’s. _What have I done?_ I think as the world begins to fade into darkness as my body begins to lose the battle against sleep.

“I-I’m so… sorry…” I make out, my words slurring together, guilt plaguing my features.

She just continues to cry, trying to reassure me with a nod of her head, but I keep on replaying her fearful expression over and over in my mind. I push myself away from the table, away from her to not hurt her anymore and soundly, I join her in crying, not soft tears like Nathalie, but a howl, like the animal I had become. My world crashes down and fades to black as I succumb to sleep’s dark embrace, guilt overwhelming my being.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I jerk upwards and the first thing I register is the smell. Smoke hits my nose in waves and I cough, the putrid smell making my eyes water. Then, my vision comes into focus and I see what remains of Paris, a skeleton of what it once was. The city burns bright in the night, the smoke of the flames the engulfs all covering the night sky, choking any light the sky provides. Buildings crumble as fire eats away all it can, a monster never satisfied, wanting more and more and will devour till there is nothing left at all. I watch, frozen as the Eiffel Tower falls to the ground, crushing any building that had remained up right from the fire’s destruction. Dread fills my body like lead and tears jerk at my eyes as I watch, helpless as I watch my precious city burn and reach it’s demise.

Then, I sense a presence behind me. I already know who it is, but wish ever so badly to not see her face, already knowing the disappointed expression that would coat her face. But, my body turns anyways. And there she stands, her suit damages by battle wounds and burns. A nasty burn covers her left arm which she cradles with her other arm and there’s a large gash across her cheek and down her neck that bleeds heavily, coating her suit in a mixture of dirt, ash and blood. When I meet her eyes, my stomach drops even further. It feels like I’ve been stabbed with her very eyes, the hollow, emptiness of them. No spark of anger or disappointment or life at all. Just nothingness and she stares as if I wasn't even there at all. That seems to hurt even more.

“Where were you, Chat…” She whispers, her voice rough with the smoke she must have inhaled while battling this fiery force alone. Her voice is hollow like her eyes. It’s written across her face and body, the failure and defeat.

I find myself rushing over to her, but can never quite reach where she is standing.

“Ladybug, I’m so sorry!” I yell, as she begins to turn and I see a flash of sadness across her face, which seems to break my heart even more.

But she still doesn’t see me. It’s as if I was just an apparition, a ghost.

“Chat… Why… Why did you leave me and Paris to burn?” she whispers, her voice broken and sad.

My mouth forms words that are never heard as she turns away from me.

“Good bye, Chat…” she murmurs, taking a step back, the edge of her toes dangling off the building that we stand on.

I’m so slow as Adrien, the agility and energy my transformation not there, but I run as fast as I can, tears streaking down my face to try and reach my lady.

“Ladybug, no!” I scream, so close that I can smell her scent of fresh air and maybe a hint of pastries.

But, I’m too late.

Wisps of her hair barely touch my hands as she jumps off the ledge, into the flames below. I scream, collapsing on the floor as my legs lose strength. I clamp my hands over my ears and jam my eyes such, hoping I can drown out the noise of my lady, my love burning and dying. Except, I can _smell_ it and I gag, dry heaving nothing but air.

Then, the brightness fades to nothingness and I open my eyes to see nothing but darkness. I let out a shaky breath. _I’m waking up, oh thank god! I don’t know how much more I could take of...my lady…_ My throat constricts.

I can barely see the light of day, gentle and kind, when suddenly, I’m being pulled back under. It’s as if invisible, but strong tentacles of darkness wrap around my limbs, yanking me downwards, away from my only escape from my nightmares. _Those damn sleeping drugs!_ Darkness begins to envelope my being once more and I reach a feeble hand out to try and grasp my last chance of awakening.

I miss.

And I fall, down, down, down.

The wind rushes through my body, chilling me and I close my eyes as I cannot see anything but darkness anyways. Time seems to stop all together as I continue to go down. _Maybe, I would fall forever in this pit of nothingness. Maybe-_

My body crushes against the floor. My bones crack and muscles tear and I bit down hard on my cheek to keep from crying out, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth. I groan. Forcing myself to stand and though my body screams in protest, it listens.

Then, I see him. My father. Standing before me with a disgusted expression his face.

“Adrien!” He begins, his voice stern as he manages to tower above me, arms crossed. “How dare you go on these escapades without consulting me first?”

 _What? Escapades? What could he mean…?_ I think, adjusting my weight onto one foot as I feel my bones and muscles begin to meld together. It’s only then do I realize the leather clinging to my body and the mask that covers my face and my blood runs cold with fear. _He knows_.

“Do you really think that you could save Paris or anyone for that matter?” His words sting like blows, the image of burning Paris still fresh in my mind. “How can a _coward_ save anyone if he cannot even save himself?”

My father takes a step closer to me and I shrink down further.

“You are a failure to the Agreste name. You are a failure to Paris. And… A failure to Ladybug.”

My breath hitches. _Ladybug. Oh god, Ladybug! I wasn't there in time and now she’s...she’s…_ My face turns hot as more tears bubble over and I cover my ears in an half-hearted attempt to block out his words.

“Stop…” I cry.

“She started off strong, you know. But, Phoenix was a mighty foe. Besides, Ladybug was distracted, wondering about her partner who would never show. So, Adrien, Chat Noir, whatever identity you wish to have, just know that _you_ are the one who killed her.”

“Shut up… Please…” I wail, my claws digging into my scalp, leaving scratches, trying to blot out his words with no avail.

“A disappointment, a coward and now, a killer of his most beloved,” My father laughs bitterly, coming right next to my ear. “I wonder what your mother would think of you now?”

“STOP!” I scream and then, I snap.

Calling upon my Cataclysm, I stop my father’s words the only way I can. I jab my claws straight through his chest and shock registers across his face, his eyes widening. My snarl falls from my face as I realize what I’ve done, and I jerk back, horrified by my actions. He coughs, blood seeping from his mouth, then a jagged smile forms across his face as the wound I inflicted began to poison the surrounding skin with black as his skin decays and flakes off before my eyes.

“Didn’t think you had it in you…” He coughs, voice ragged and eyes crazed. “Too bad...that you killed the wrong...person…”

And his features morph, changing from sharp to soft, from male to female. Raven black hair replaces white and blue covers grey. And I scream as I see my father transform into my beloved.

“Ladybug! No!” I screech, panicking as I move to clutch her close to my chest.

“C-chat?” She says, her words coated in pain. “W-why?”

Her breathing becomes labored as my destructive powers carve a hole in her beautiful body and dotted suit. I run my claws over her head and kiss her forehead, wetting both our faces with tears, but it’s not enough. She’s dying because of me and there’s nothing I can do.

“I’m so sorry!” I wail, my voice cracking and she looks up at me in confusion before giving me a small, kind smile that shatters my heart into a million pieces.

“Chat…” She breathes, a weak hand moving to touch my cheek. “Don’t...c...cry…”

Her hand falls and her body turns an awful shade of white.

“Ladybug, stay with me!”

Her smile falls and her eyes flutter shut as her body peels away into black ash. Nothing remains of my love. Emptiness fills my entire being as I cry till no more tears are able to fall. My whole body wretched and shudders as I wail, murmuring her name over and over. Darkness transitions into light.

And it is then, where I wake. My eyes open slowly, feeling as if they were glued shut by my tears and I know they are red and puffy. Only one thought echoes in my mind. _I need to see Ladybug._ Glancing around, I realize that I’ve somehow been transported in my bed and memories of what had happened before I slept hit me in waves. _Nathalie…_ Shaking my head, I swallow my guilt. That’s a matter for another time. Ladybug is first priority.

“Plagg,” I say, my voice hoarse and rough as if I had been screaming, which I probably was.

Plagg immediately darts in and he looks pissed.

“Adrien, _what_ _was_ _that_?” He yells. “You don’t go around hurting people who want to help you!”

I swallow, my guilt resurfacing. I run a shaky hand through my hair and then realizing my whole body seems to be trembling and I sniff, the tears begins to roll down my cheeks before transforming into an ugly sob. Plagg freezes, than darts close to me, awkwardly stroking my hair a bit before darting away in front of me after my wave of emotions calm down a bit.

“That’s it, you’re going to tell me what’s going on with you _right now_! God, Adrien, you need to talk to someone about this! And if you're not going to tell Ladybug, might as well tell me.”

I stare at him. Ladybug’s small smile before her death flies into my mind and I grimace, pushing it back. Ladybug, I need to make sure she’s okay, that she’s...alive and well and beautiful as always. I can’t deal with angry Plagg right now; I have a far more important thing to do now.

“No.”

Plagg blinks in surprise, then gives me a large scowl.

“ _What do you mean no_ ? Boy, I have been alive thousands of years before you were even a thought in your parents’ mind! You _do not_ just say _no_ to me!”

I let out a shaky breath. He’s going to hate me after this.

“Claws out.”

His eyes widen and he growls.

“You _did not_ just say that! Kid, I’m going to-”

He gets sucked into my ring and I never hear what he’s going to do, but I know it won’t be pretty. I transform into Chat Noir quickly and feel the energy pulsing through my veins immediately and I suddenly crave for some adrenaline. My emotions dare to reach the surface from the nightmare, but I push them back.

“I’ll tell you eventually, Plagg…” I murmur to myself and than leap from my window, my mind set on my mission to find my beloved lady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been forever since I updated! I apologize; I've just have had a lot going on in my life! So, take make up for my tardiness, here's a longer chapter lol It's definitely more on the dark side, but don't worry, there still will be lots of fluff and more angst in the next chapters. Also, regarding future chapters, putting a week deadline on them was unrealistic. I'll try and update every two weeks, give or take. Anyways, thanks for the read! :)


	6. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Marinette worries about Adrien, Chat Noir frantically searches for Ladybugs whereabouts. Things just go downhill after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff! Mostly angst though XD

_Ladybug_

I bit my lip worriedly, my fingertips hovering over my phone’s keyboard before thinking better of it, my hand trailing away. I let out a frustrated sigh. Alya rolls her eyes as she splays across my bed across from me.

“Lighten up, girl!” She says with a smile, glancing at me before returning her eyes back to her phone that she holds, arms outstretched, above her. “I’m sure _your boy_ is fine.”

“Adrien is not _my boy_!” I huff, crossing my arms. “And he can’t be fine! He’s been looking so tired this past week and he wasn’t here on Friday…” I murmur the last bit to myself. “I just want to make sure he’s okay...”

Running a hand through my unruly hair, I stand from my bed and nervously pacing around, a habit I find myself doing more and more often.

“What if he’s contracted this terrible disease and no one’s been there to help him ‘cause his father is so busy being an amazing fashion designer, but not so amazing dad? Or what if he’s been cursed by this witch so he can never sleep again or… The worst one of all: what if Chloe's bothering him again?” I chirp animatedly without breathing, the words flowing quickly from my mouth as I begin to panic, my arms flailing about.

I feel someone put their hands on my shoulders and I tense and spin around, meeting Alya’s laughing eyes. I huff, my cheeks turning pink, my eyes darting from her’s.

“This is no laughing matter Alya! Adrien could be _dying_ for all we know!”

Alya chuckles before giving my shoulders a good shake.

“Girl, chill. He was only absent for one day! If anything, he’s probably overtired from all those extracurriculars he does,” Alya says, shaking her head, her fingers splayed on her forehead and eyes closed. “And if you are this worried, it shouldn't be too hard to send him a text to see how he’s doing.”

I blush a deeper shade of crimson. She’s got me there. We’ve been trying to craft a perfect text to him for 10 minutes now, but I always chicken out before sending it. It’s stupid! Adrien and I have become closer friends, at least I hope so, and I can at least talk to him a little better by not stumbling on my words as much, but texting… That’s a whole other matter. We really don’t talk that much outside of class and I don’t want to weird him out by just randomly texting him, especially since I didn’t get his number through him, but instead, Alya. However… He has been absent… That’s normal right? Asking a casual friend if they are okay?

I ponder to myself all the possible outcomes and it makes my head spin. Suddenly, an image from the back of my mind creeps and crawls forwards and Adrien’s perfect body broken and bloody appears on the dark of my closed eyelids. My eyes snap open and I take deep breaths to calm myself, my empty hand free of my phone crushing into a fish, my nails biting into my skin. _That’s not real, Adrien’s okay…_

The vision fades and I glance at Alya, sighing softly when I find her occupied with her phone once more. She now hangs upside-down, her head hanging from my bed and typing a storm, probably to Nino or another story for her blog. The sight itself is very comical and I laugh despite my mood, poking her forehead and she bats my hand away, with a fake scowl.

I poke her again and she narrows her eyes at me, challenging me to continue. I move my hand to poke her once more and she grabs my finger, but the violent motion makes her lose her balance and tumble off the bed in a crash. I stare at her ruffled appearance, glasses crooked and limbs splayed around awkwardly on the floor as it begins to dawn on her what happened. I can’t help myself; I burst out laughing. Soon, she joins in as well and we laugh until our stomachs ache. Leave it Alya to cheer me up, even unintentionally. It feels so nice to laugh and it feels like I haven’t really felt this much joy in a while. I begin to question why when I remember the nightmares that have plagued me and my laughter ceases.

My room feels suddenly closterfobic, the reminder of my nightmares too fresh, so I make my way up to the balcony. I take a deep breath of the fresh air around me and let the air out sharply through my nostrils and hang my arms off the edge, letting the wind play with my fingertips. I hear Alya coming up the ladder, so I make sure to stand a little straighter and smile, trying my best to not show my fatigue.

Alya has noticed that something's wrong with me, but can't quite figure out what it is. I don't bother telling her. Being scared of nightmares seems kinda wimpy and I don’t want Alya to think of me like that. Yes, I’m clumsy and can’t seem to work the courage to text Adrien a simple message, but I’m not weak. _I’m not weak…_ I echo in my mind. _I’m strong! You know what, screw it! I’m Ladybug! I can text Adrien a measly text._ I turn towards Alya, my mind made up.

“Alya, I’m going to text him and I mean it this time!”

Alya gives me a reassuring smile, but her eyes are doubtful. She crosses her hands and shifts her weight to one foot, waiting. _I’ll prove her wrong then!_ Lifting my phone up, I click Adrien’s contact, which of course has a few hearts after it. I hover over the keyboard once more. My finger shakes as I strain to type the message, my stomach tying in nervous knots. I screw my eyes closed and take a deep breath, channeling my inner Ladybug and confidence.

**Hey Adrien! It’s Marinette. I’m in your class and maybe your friend? Hahahaha I sure hope so…** I sigh. _God, it already sounds awkward as hell…_ I put my phone down for a bit and look out of my balcony to find some inspiration. Instead, I see something unexpected. My eyes immediately lock onto the figure in black leather bounding from roof to roof. Chat Noir. The hairs on my neck raise in slight apprehension, nightmares flashing before my eyes, but I force them down. Because, I immediately can tell something is off with him. His movements are jerky, frantic as he scours the city, as if he was desperately searching for something.

_Maybe it’s an akuma!_ I think to myself, shoulders becoming tense and the words to transform are on the tip of my tongue before realizing the other occupant in my balcony.

“Girl, you gave up on the text?” Alya murmurs, eyes trained onto her phone. “Damn, I should have bet some money on it this time.”

I freeze, then regain my composure.

“You know what Alya, you’re right! Adrien’s probably fine. Thanks for you help! I’ll text you, bye!” I say quickly, pushing her towards the ladder back to my room.

She raises an eyebrow and resists my pushing. I’m tempted to use Ladybug force before stopping myself.

“Okay, Mari, what’s up with you?”

I laugh nervously.

“Just remembered this thing I have to do, do alone that is. So, we have to cut this short, sorry! Can’t wait to see you later!” I squeak, my hand waving quickly before I slowly push her over a little more, a wide, awkward smile across my face.

Alya stares at me for a few beats, her eyes questioning and beads of sweat begin to roll down my forehead in appreciation, but my smile still remains plastered on my face. Then, Alya rolls her eyes. She begins to make her way down the ladder and towards the stairs. I let out a sigh in relief.

“And Mari?” she calls, looking back at me one last time.

I immediately straighten, my awkward smile reappearing.

“You better text me to tell me what’s up or I will find out.” She grins and points two of her fingers towards her eyes, than towards me. I nod frantically.

Finally, she leaves and I run over to the edge of my balcony, pressing against the ledge to watch her walk out, her phone in hand and oblivious to the world. I sigh, the tension leaving my body once more, my animated facade falling away. My posture shifts downwards and I sink onto the floor of my balcony. I’m so very tired, but I just can’t sleep. Not with my nightmares lurking about. They’ve seemed to have gotten worse the last couple of days, with Adrien rejections, death of loved ones and Chat… Poor Chat… He’s either dead in my arms, or the one causing the death.

_Speaking of which…_ My eyes wander back to the rooftops, but I no longer see my partner. Puzzled, I stand up and peer over the edge, searching for him. _He could have gone too far…_

“Hey, princess.”

I can’t help the squeak that shoots from my lips and I dart around to see Chat nervously standing behind me. I frown. Chat’s not one to be nervous. He blinks at me, then grins. We both know it’s forced.

“What, not happy to see your favorite cat?” he murmurs, arms stiff as he rubs the back of his head with a hand. He won’t meet my eyes.

Chat and Marinette have developed an interesting relationship. He “saves” me sometimes and I sometimes invite him onto my balcony to chat for a bit. But, it’s been an awfully long while since we’ve talked, maybe more than a month. It’s strange for him to suddenly approach me, yet another sign that something is not right.

I stare into his eyes. They are puffy, as if he were crying. And his whole body is stiff, awkward. Chat is never stiff. He’s smooth, a flirt on the tip of his tongue, eyes filled with mirth. But… today, they are sad. It breaks my heart.

“What’s wrong, chaton?” I say, letting worry seep into my words.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“I...I know this is bad of me… Almost taking advantage of this nice friendship, if you’re okay with me calling it that, but…” he stops, then shakes his head, and he forces the words out. “I know you’re close with Ladybug, so...could you please tell her I need to see her...badly…that I’ll be waiting at our spot...” His voice begins to shake a bit and his head drops low as well as his ears.

“Chat… What’s wrong? Is there an akuma?” I ask, my expression sad as I reach a hand out towards him to try and comfort him. I hate seeming like this, so sad and lonely.

He sniffs and backs away from my hand, as if he was afraid. He pulls as his arm on his side as if to keep it down, to keep from touching me. Hurt ripples around me in waves at his actions, but then I meet his sad eyes again and his look alone makes me feel even worse for him. He looks like a kicked puppy, or in his case, kitten. I have an urge to just wrap him up in a hug, to whisper reassurances to him and try to make him smile once more. Hell, I’m willing to even say a pun or two. But, I can’t. We aren't like that and guilt hits me once more because if we were closer, maybe I could help him.

“No…” Chat murmurs, bringing me out of my guilt-ridden thoughts. “No akuma… Please just tell her, okay, Marinette?”

I gulp. He never uses my first name. _What happened to you Chat?_ He meets my eyes, his expression so desperate, so depressing that I can’t help but nod my head, at a loss of words. A small, genuine smile falls upon his lips. He murmurs a thank you and then, he’s gone, leaping off the balcony, then scaling roofs, heading towards the Eiffel Tower.

I stare after him. _Oh Chat…_ As soon as he disappears into the horizon where he is too far for me to see, I call upon Tikki. _Time to figure out what’s wrong_.

I reach him in record time, almost flying across Paris, my worry fueling my speed. I should have waited a bit longer to transform to avoid suspicion, but the look on Chat’s face made me want to get there as quickly as possible.  I observe him now, on the top point of the tower and he’s yet to notice me.

I watch him run his claws over his hair repeatedly, sometime tugging so hard I worry that he’ll rip a chunk out. He’s so tense, stiff and his movements are jerky and impatient. He paces back and forth, back and forth, ignoring the few that point out towards him below. As superheroes, we have access to the highest parts of the tower that no one else has, mostly because only those who can actually climb to the top can reach. It gives us some nice privacy and easy meeting place. I watch him claw at his hair again. Enough is enough.

I leap swiftly and lightly land on my feet, not making much noise, so he hasn’t noticed my presence yet. However, I cannot stand seeing him so distressed much longer.

“Chat Noir?”

He turns so sharply that it startles me and I flinch slightly, taking a step back. He doesn't seem to notice it as he makes a few quick steps with his long legs, then embraces me in his arms, my head buried in his chest. I stiffen, not expecting a hug, then melt and return the embrace. He holds me even tighter and I can feel his quivering breath on my ear as he sniffles. Chat’s whole body seems to melt into my, the tension and worry seeping out of him. Though his closeness is starting to trigger scenes from my dreams, I shove them down forcefully in my mind. Chat needs me right now. I hear him whisper something in my hair and I struggle to listen.

“Oh thank god, Ladybug…” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion.

I hold on to him tighter, his distinct scent enveloping me and I reach one hand up to burrow deep in his thick locks to comfort him, perhaps soothe his head he was clawing at earlier.

“Chaton… It’s okay, it’s okay…” I murmur into his chest and he takes a deep breath, making me feel his body rise and fall, before he ends our embrace, keeping his hands on my shoulders.

I stare up at his face and see the relief coating his features. I move my hands from his hair and back down to his shoulders which have grown broader and taller through the years. I give them a gentle squeeze.

“Chat, what happened?” I ask him, my eyes staring deep into his green voids before his gaze falls to the floor.

He’s hesitant to tell me. That much I can tell, so I try my best to give him a reassuring smile.

“Tell me whenever you’re ready, chaton.”

My hands move down his shoulders and gently remove his arms from my own shoulders, taking his clawed hands in mine. His eyes meet mine again. His gaze is piercing and runs shivers down my back. I push down the nightmares, but he sees them in my eyes. He sighs, running his fingers across my cheek and for a moment, the nagging fears in my mind are forgotten.We seem to gravitate closer, closer to each other. He licks his lips, my eyes following the movement. He begins to speak.

“Ladybug, I-”

A crash interrupts him and we both jump apart as if shocked. My face begins to run warm at how close we had gotten, too close. _You were just trying to comfort him… He’s your partner, Marinette! Get your head out of the clouds and focus…_ A harsh, rough laugh fills the air around us and we rush to the side of the railing from the Eiffel Tower to see a strange creature below, one who has yet to notice our presence.

Fiery wings protrude from their back and their body is adorned with gold and rubies, looking like some sort of royalty armor. Their long reddish hair trails down their back and disappears into wisps of flames and a crown on top their head, which blatantly looks like the akuma is hidden in, glistens in the sunlight, almost blinding me by its gleam.

The creature cackles once more and begins to speak.

“I am the mighty Phoenix! I have been reborn with fire and Paris shall burn and rise once more into my own kingdom!” the creature yells, the rough, but more feminine voice making me assume she is female.

I tense, readying myself to jump down and confront the akumatized villain and glance at Chat to ready our strategy. However, instead of seeing him ready for battle, I watch as his entire face pales and eyes widen impossibly large, his pupils shrinking until they seem to drown in a sea of green. He backs away slowly, his arms shaking as he brings his hands to rub his face as if trying to wake himself from a chance.

“No… It… It can’t be…” he whispers, his voice so soft and almost scared that it begins to affect me, my heart beginning to pump faster from apprehension instead of adrenaline.

“Chat, what’s wrong?”

He looks at me, as if realizing I was still there and he latches onto me as if I was his lifeline, his hands clutching my so hard, I feel like they might leave bruises.

“Ladybug, no, no, no… I’m sorry!” He begins to wail, fat tears rolling down his cheeks as I begin to react in shock, my body freezing.

I have no idea what to do and he just crumples to the floor, scared and sad. He rolls himself in a ball, hands covering his eyes as he begins to sob and it almost physically hurts me to see him this way. Crashes and burning of the villain flee my mind as I crouch down next to him.

“Chat Noir?” I say quietly and I feel as if I spoke any louder, he would break.

A loud cackle brings me back to reality as I see the Phoenix fly above me.

“What do we have here? A little bug and a scaredy cat. Hehehe, well no matter. Both can burn like anyone else!”

I stand up and ready myself for the battle when I hear Chat shuffling next to me.

“No…” Chat croaks, wiping the tears from his eyes as he stands on shaky legs.

The Phoenix pauses, not attacking, but just watches Chat with a crooked smile, a butterfly mask appearing on her face, making me wonder what Papillion is doing.

“Oh and what’s the baby kitty going to do about it? Maybe cry some more?”

Chat remains silent, but slowly stands in front of me, blocking me from the Phoenix. My mind’s gears turn and I deduce that maybe Chat’s trying to be a distraction? Otherwise, I’m unsure of his reasoning as he stands before me, gathering his strength, but talking instead of fighting.

“Do you really think you can save your bug from burning like the rest of Paris?” the Phoenix hums, flying closer to the floor to watch Chat’s reaction.

Chat tenses, his hands balling into fists and I see his distress begin to turn into angry, yet he still doesn’t do anything, making me more puzzled. It is as if he’s trying to restrain himself. I get tired of waiting, however, as that stupid butterfly mask is still on the Phoenix, like Papillion is _telling_ her what to say and I just want to get this akuma over with so I can figure out what’s plaguing Chat. However, once I take a step forwards, Chat shoots out a hand in front of me.

“Stay back,” he says through gritted teeth and I get a glimpse of wild eyes.

My blood runs cold. Something is very wrong. I begin to back away from his line of sight, an urgent feeling to flee beginning to overwhelm me, but I ignore it. I have to stay and fight, damn it, not run.

“This can’t be happening…” he murmurs quietly to himself. “You aren’t real.”

The Phoenix chuckles, her feet touching the platform that we stand on, the heat radiating from her toes heating the metal, causing it to glow red. I try to make my way over to Phoenix while he’s distracted, his eyes trained on the creature in front of me.

“Oh, I’m real alright and I won’t stop till Paris burns to the ground!”

She moves quick, shooting a fireball directly towards me and I barely dodge, my left arm skimmed by the fire. It burns through my suit and briefly singes my suit, causing me to let out a yelp in pain.

Chat abruptly shoots around and sees my cradling my injured arm. I can physically see him snap, his face morphing into a harsh snarl and his muscles rippling under his suit as he prepares to fight. Rage seems to fill his entire body and dear god, it’s terrifying.

“Damn, I missed, perhaps I can-”

“NO!” Chat lets out a monstrous roar that startles both me and the akumatized villain.

We both flinch and I watch, frozen as Chat let’s out another mighty roar and pounces on her, both of them toppling down the Eiffel Tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter took me a bit longer than expected. I had the idea, but it took me a while to actually execute it. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
> Teaser for next chapter: Shit goes down. Chat gets pissed. And so does Ladybug. Yay! XD


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